Lord Beer Me Strength...

The Electoral College...

2008-11-03T22:25:00.000-08:00

I'm forecasting a popular vote allocation of something in the neighborhood of:

Obama 51.5
McCain 46.3
Other 2.2

Unfortunately I was unable to post the graphic consisting of my predictions of the states results for tomorrow's general election. The map above shows the state results for the 2004 general election.

The Red States are Bush's totaling 286
The Blue States are Kerry's totaling 252
It takes 270 Electoral Votes to clinch the Presidency.

Now on to 2008

To show what a truly awful year it has been to be a Republican chew on this little tidbit; McCain is only contesting 2 states Kerry won in 2004, Pennsylvania 21 electoral votes and New Hampshire 4 electoral votes. McCain is a long shot at best in both states. So making the fairly safe assumption that Senator Obama will win all of the Kerry States he begins with a baseline of 252 electoral votes. This means he only has to peal away states totaling 18 electoral votes from the GOP states. This shouldn't be a problem. Iowa and it's 7 electoral votes are a slam dunk. New Mexico's 5 are solid as well. This leaves Obama 6 points short of clinching the White House. So Where do the final 6 votes come from. My guess: Everywhere. Obama's superior resources coupled with the finical crisis for which Republicans are bearing a disproportionate amount of the blame spells electoral disaster for the McCain/Palin ticket. I think it should shake out this way in the swing states.

Obama McCain
Ohio (20) Missouri (11)
Florida (27) Indiana (11)
Virginia (13) North Carolina (15)
Colorado (9) Georgia (15)

Nevada (5) North Dakota (3)
Pennsylvania (21) Montana (3)
New Hampshire (4)

So If I'm correct in my projections regarding the swing states it would mean that Obama has kept all the Kerry states and added Iowa, Ohio, Florida, Colorado,Nevada, New Mexico and Virgina totaling 86 new electoral votes for a final tally of:

Obama 338 McCain 200

Of course this is give or take given the potential that Ohio, Florida, Missouri, North Carolina and Indiana are true toss ups states...

The Bush Legacy....

2008-11-03T10:30:00.000-08:00

America gets to tell GWB just how much they appreciate the last 8 year tomorrow....

Senator Obama gives the one gun salute...

Here's to the slightly less kooky VP candidate...
Kooky none the less....
John Murtha loves his Megadeath...

or maybe he's just sad for the Horns...

Bye Bye Ty...

2008-10-29T10:49:00.000-07:00

Our long national nightmare is over....

Obama and the Mainstream Theshold...

2008-10-29T10:06:00.000-07:00

The last minute Marxism charges against Senator Obama seem like the smoking gun if you're a fan of Rush Limbaugh. If you're more of the reading Mauren Dowd type of voter it's probably registers as annoying white noise. So the question is how does the latest McCain line of attack play to the middling and undecided voters?

My sense is not very well.

Recent headlines on the right-leaning high traffic Drudgereport.com website would seem to be scandalous in the mold the Reverend Jeremiah Wright. Story after story about wealth redistribution and associations with Marxist intellectuals litter the blogosphere. Despite the toxic feel of the charges they hardly register a dent in Obama's numbers practically in the swing states where the Senator has lived for the past two months. Maybe if team McCain would have beaten this drum to define Obama in April & May the charges would have found traction and scarred voters. It's too little too late now. Senator Obama has defined himself to the American people and seemingly they have certified him mainstream "enough" to be President. That's fatal news for Senator McCain. The moment Obama met this threshold in America's conscience the election was all but over.

This election isn't about William Ayers shock headlines. It's about the sense that President Bush's policies have made a mess and someone on the other side needs to step in and clean it up. The economy is bad enough that people are more afraid of four more years of the same policies than they are of Obama's potentially checkered ideological past. There in lies the rub for McCain. Obama is now America's acceptable alternative to Bush. Sure people may have some doubts about him but they have cast their lot that in spite of some lingering doubts almost anything is better than more of the same.

*If I have time this week I hope to post on Why I think Christian's Should Be Poltical Free Agents..

Senility Can Be A Real Son-Of-A-Gun...

2008-10-15T22:55:00.000-07:00

Commitment to excellence Indeed...

Al Davis- the man who makes John McCain look Spry enough to due a lame man cheer jig opposite Zack Efron in High School Musical III...

This man makes the decisions for an NFL franchise worth upwards of $800 million dollars... chew on that....

Out of Bullets...McCain Throws Shit at Wall and Hopes it Sticks...

2008-10-15T22:47:00.000-07:00

The number one reason McCain should be President:

No Prior affiliations with Bill Ayers...

Someone tell the original mavericks that the car is upside down in the ditch and on fire...

Blogging The Borefest....

2008-10-07T18:09:00.000-07:00

4 minutes into the debate and he's already lost me

What is this old man talking about... (6:12PST)

I fear a storke is imminent (6:23 PST)

"I've got some news for ya Senator Obama... The economy is bad" (6:37PST)

"GOODIES" (6:49PST)

The combover is looking especially Saucy (7:00)

"cool hand at the tiller"(7:08) WTF

7:14

The fight has been stopped. The wife calls for Two and A Half Men... damn you Charlie Sheen... damn your bad boy charm....

In summation: Old Man, Stoke, Goodies, Saucy, Comb Over, Cool hand at the tiller, JOHN McCAIN folks....

Palin Power

2008-10-06T23:09:00.000-07:00

We all know that look Joe...

Naughty, Naughty...

Gov. Sarah Palin

The choice of dirty old Senators everywhere...

*except for Larry Craig

I think he's more into Richard Gere...

LandSlide

2008-10-06T22:51:00.001-07:00

I've been working for a while on a piece about the electoral map. My premise was that Colorado would be this cycles turning point state ala Florida 2000, Ohio 2004. My analysis was in depth, thoughtful and ultimately useless. With one month left until the general election the electorate is starting to really tune in and voice it's discontentment with the failures of the Bush Administration. The acceleration of the finical meltdown last week was nail meeting coffin for the McCain campaign. With one month left I'm declaring this election over. Senator Obama can proceed with measuring the drapes in the oval office. In the coming weeks I'll do an in depth electoral map prediction (I went 50 for 50 in'04) which will undoubtedly see Obama over 300 electoral votes. This is gonna be a blow out.

I Call It "An Ode to Carnage"

2008-10-01T22:09:00.000-07:00

INCOMPETANCE BREEDS LOSING

YOUR 2008 WASHINGTON HUSKIES

LIVING THE DREAM...ONE EXCRUITATING LOSS AT A TIME....

The Thing About Hail Marry's Passes...

2008-09-30T23:38:00.000-07:00

.... is that they rarely work...

When you're behind you still have to throw them...

But I wondering if it says something about political calculations above governing concerns... I mean President Palin...

Matt Damon raised some fairly relavent questions...

I guess the point is moot...

McCain's Hail Marry is on it's way to hitting the turf incomplete...

Barring an Obama fumble... you can shut the refridgerator door on election '08and begin Primary Season 2012 Palin Vs. Romeny...what a cage match that will be...

Ultimate Dave...

2008-09-24T01:29:00.000-07:00

I recently got into a conversation with 3 of my sister about what a top 10 list of Dave Matthews Band song would like. The four us besides sharing a mother have DMB in common. If we were stranded on a desert island and left with only one artist or band to listen to for the rest of our lives we're all taking Dave & co. without a seconds thought.

Out of that conversation I starting thinking about what the ultimate DMB cd would like. Of course it would look different from fan to fan but I think a few things would hold in most cases.

1. It would have to be a double disk

2. It would have to have a combination of power and finesse

3. It would include: The Stone, #41, Warehouse, Ants & Two Step

4. It would have at least one obscure song ( I chose Little Thing because I totally love it)

5. It would have to include one cover (probably Watch Tower)

6.It would have to include political or message driven songs (I chose Don't Drink the Water, Seek Up, Dreaming Tree, American Baby)

So Here my best attempt at it:

Disc I

1.One Sweet World
2. Typical Situation
3. The Stone
4. Seek Up
5. Crash
6. #41
7. Don't Drink The Water
8. Bartender
9. Satellite
10. Dancing Nancy
11. Little Thing
12. Dreaming Tree

Disc II

13. So Much To Say
14. Grey Street
15. Warehouse
16. Song Jane Likes
17. Lover Lay Down
18 Lie In Our Graves
19. Ants Marching
20. Watch Tower
21. Pay For What You Get
22. Rapunzel
23. American Baby
24. Two Step

Celebrate we will Because life is short but sweet for certain We're climbing two by two To be sure these days continue Things we cannot change...

Goodbye to a Legend

2008-09-19T22:55:00.000-07:00

Here's to the legend that will live forever in the legacy of his music that has touched so many and will continue to inspire...

Seeing LeRoi play live at the Gorge was such a treat...

The DMB family sorely misses you dear friend...

Bartender

If I go Before I'm old, Oh, brother of mine, Please don't forget me if I go. Bartender, please, Fill my glass for me With the wine you gave Jesus That set him free after three days in the ground. Oh, and if I die Before my time, Oh, sweet sister of mine, Please don't regret me if I die. Bartender, please, Fill my glass for me With the wine you gave Jesus That set him free after three days in the ground.

OCHO IDOIT

2008-09-04T17:07:00.000-07:00

Words cannot express how stupid I think this is.... poor Carson Palmer...

The Stupid Bug Bites Again...

2008-08-29T20:36:00.000-07:00

Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chad Johnson has legally changed his name to Chad Javon Ocho Cinco for the expressed purpose of getting the self ascribed "Ocho Cinco" moniker on the back of his game jersey... Only one word comes to mind...

TOOL

You heard it here first

2008-08-29T08:49:00.000-07:00

Back on July 4th I suggested the best two veep choices for the respective major party nominees would be Sen. Joe Biden and Gov. Sarah Palin.... after months of speculation guess what ;)....

Published 7/4

http://tim-reber.blogspot.com/2008/07/recent-random-musings.html

It seems to me the best Vice...

Presidential choices would be:

Obama: Sen. Joe Biden- experienced, foreign policy wonk, ready to be President in a pinch, congenial, good on the stump, interesting, should help with white working class men, would be funny at the white House Press Dinners.

McCain: Gov. Sarah Palin- McCain needs a home run and Palin may be it. Tough as nails reputation fighting corruption in her own party, a good manager, smart and attractive, might help with women, should shore up conservative base, exciting pick.

Spring/Summer Movie Review...

2008-08-14T19:55:00.000-07:00

My Favorites...

1. Stepbrothers- the language is off the chart bad... but it's the funniest thing I've seen years... John C. Riley has made the full blown transition to serious comic power house....

2. The Dark Knight- Heath Ledger is pure insanity... Nolan's dark vision is a true accomplishment... easily the best in the series.. should garner serious Oscar consideration...

3. Forgetting Sara Marshall- cute, funny and foul... A lot of typical Aptow: laughs every minute... Warning ( excessive male nudity)

4. Iron Man- not really a superhero guy but Downey Jr. is just great.. John Faveru has finally found his calling...

5. Wanted- Nice surprise... creativity high octane action sequences...

6. Whats Happens In Vegas- Surprising good, Kucher & Diaz are usually poison for me not this time... they good chemistry... it befuddles the mind...

7. Hancock- I liked it better than most critics... Jason Bateman is great as always... and there is a solid back story that emerges... I liked it a lot more than I anticipated...

8. Prince Caspian- For a kids adventure movie they did it right.. I thought it was a big step forward from The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe...

What I didn't hate:

9. Pineapple Express- For an Aptow movie it sucked which means it was still pretty funny in places but not the witty laugh 'til you drop Stepbrothers, Superbad, Knocked Up level... Maybe if I had ever smoked weed I would have a different take... James Franco is one great stoner though.

10. Tropic Thunder- On the strength of Tom Cruise and Downey TT had some hopeful moments... but they were to few and far between... Jack Black has literally lost it...

11. Get Smart- The best thing I can say about it is that wasn't as stupid as I thought it would be... Alan Arkin is the best part of the film...

12. Made of Honor- Had to see it with the wife... its very predictable but I'm sucker for romance done with a little wit... so I didn't hate it...

Movies I hated:

13. Sex In The City- Read the full review: http://tim-reber.blogspot.com/2008/07/if-this-is-sex-ill-take-abstinence.html

14. The Happening- I was tracking okay with the movie until the end...I think there was a story in there worth telling.. unfortunately there was no ending of substance... a growing problem with Hollywood films... Mark Walhberg at his worst...

15. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull-

Dear Steven Spillberg & George Lucas,

Thank you for systematically tearing apart the movie franchises that I have loved since childhood. I hope you both choke on the hundreds of millions of dollars you've made ruining Star Wars and now Indiana Jones. Fortunately for you corn holes this is a pseudo family friendly blog or else this rant would get a little crusty.

Enjoy your tarnished legacy,

TSR

From Paul Rudds Lips To God's Ears...

2008-08-08T00:58:00.000-07:00

It's made with real bits of panther...

Good Times...

2008-08-05T21:37:00.000-07:00

Credit The Great Trent Trail

Welcome To Big The Time: Ron-Ron To Help Houston Blast Off

2008-08-01T09:53:00.000-07:00

The Rockets have ascended to elite status in the western conference. There pending acquisition of the leagues preeminent bad boy Ron Artrest allows Houston to go to toe-to-toe with the likes of the Lakers, Spurs, Suns & Jazz.

The much maligned Artest gives Houston a new look at both ends of the court. An outstanding perimeter defender, Artest allows the Rockets to throw out long, pesky line ups with Ming, Battier, McGrady and of course Artest. On the offensive of end Artest takes some of the pressure off McGrady to instigate the offense, something that has been a problem in the playoffs.

Of course the whole thing could blow in their faces if Ron Artest does his best Ron Artest imitation. But the Rockets have a couple of things working in their favor. Artest only has one year left on his deal meaning he will not be a long term drain on their fortunes if problem persist. Also, Artest is playing for a big pay day something he has somehow managed to avoid thus far in star crossed NBA career. Finally, aside from Artest Houston is a relatively vanilla team. Its not like Ron-Ron is going to the 2002 Portland Trailblazers. If there was ever a situation to put Artest in, this it it.

In the Artest deal Sacramento nets promising young F Donte' Green, a 2009 1st round pick and a salary filler in G Bobby Jackson. Moving Artest signals that the Kings are in full blown rebuilding mode. Green joins this years 1st rounder Jason Thompson along with C Spencer Hawes and scoring machine Kevin Martin as the Kings chief building blocks.

All things being equal, the Kings failed to get anything resembling full value for Artest. The bright side if you can call it that is that they will have a lot of lottery balls to land a potential impact guy in the 2009 NBA Draft.

I found this fitting...

2008-07-27T17:32:00.000-07:00

Thanks to our good friends AT BUSTEDTEES

http://www.bustedtees.com/McCain

Building A Winner: Obama's Superior November Strategy...

2008-07-25T11:53:00.000-07:00

I have read countless articles in recent days from the Washington punditry marveling at the relative tightness of national polls. The thought process goes something like this:

The Democrats lead in every relevant political metric.... Obama is an uber-charismatic candidate on a groundbreaking mission... while McCain is boring candidate in his 70's that looks a lot like Bob Dole redux.. The public perception is that the Democrats would be better on the economy, better on Iraq, better on the environment and the list goes on....
Given these factor the press wonders how Obama's lead in the average of national polls is a mere 4.8%. There are number of factors that play into the relative closeness of the recent polling data that might be discussed on this blog at a later date if Obama hasn't busted this thing open by mid September. I suspect Obama will win a decisive victory with something in the range of 53%.

Current polling trends seem to indicate that McCain has begun to close on Obama in some of the key battle ground states... Colorado, Minnesota and Ohio have all tightened in the last two weeks. Pundits have credited an aggressive McCain TV ad campaign with helping the Arizona Senator pull close. In response the Obama camp has raised it's television buys in many markets.

In 1996 President Clinton's tops political advisor Dick Morris developed an aggressive ad strategy targeting important political markets that were just under the radar. The ad buys took places in areas that would not raise red flags inside the beltway. This allowed Clinton to talk to the electorate of key states without altering an army of Republican political operatives who would have crafted a counter attack. On the strength of Morris' stealth and a developing economy Clinton handled his Republican opponent without breaking a sweat.

The dicey thing about national political strategies is that a "trick play" only works once. I'm no more than an armchair political observer and I know about Morris' brilliant move. Think about the countless hours that the political operatives and cable news talking heads have spent pouring over the minutest details of the '96 contest.

I bring up The Clinton/Morris model because I think something similar is afoot in the 2008 Obama campaign. While the McCain team counties to call plays from the conventional general election playbook buying ads in swing markets the Obama camp is trying something different.

A recent Boston Globe article detailed the Obama camps swing state strategy. In two words: paid staffers. Obama's top political strategist David Axelrod and his surrogates have allocated large amounts of campaign cash to construct an army of Obama operatives on the ground in Florida, Ohio, Michigan and Pennsylvania. Of course paid staffers are nothing new, McCain has his fair share on the ground in these states. What makes Obama's play unique is the sheer number of operatives the campaign employs. In the aforementioned states Obama is building staffs of 250-300 full time operatives. Such numbers are unheard of in prior political campaigns.

The process of hiring, implementing and paying the enormous staff of operatives is in part responsible for the relative closeness of the national polls. Axelrod is building a team that will hit its stride post convention when most undecided voters will make their minds. While McCain narrows the polls spending his money on TV ads Obama is putting together a get-out-the-vote infrastructure the likes of which we have never seen.

In September when general election financing guidelines kick in Senator McCain will be at a huge finical disadvantage as he has opted to take federalized election funding. This means he will be given $89 million dollars to finance his campaign. The rub is he is only allowed to spend $89 million dollars. Months back Senator Obama decided to opt out of federal financing opting to foot the bill through his impressive fundraising machine. Obama's choice allows him to raise and spend unlimited funds during the general election season. This in theory should allow the Illinois Senator to match McCain dollar for dollar on the air waves while overwhelming the Republican with his vastly superior ground operation.

In the post election coverage pay attention to analysis around Obama's superior ground operation being the difference in tight states. Remember that while McCain was narrowing the polling gap in August Obama was constructing the vehicle to drive away with the win in November. Pay attention to it now because in 2012 both parties will have obscene numbers of paid staff in swing states. Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee better be paying attention...

Say Hello to the Suckiest Suck that Ever Sucked...

2008-07-23T14:42:00.000-07:00

It's the Worst DH in Baseball History.....

Let's bat him clean up and see what happens....

we're only 24 games under .500 you say....

Sweet lets keep him there and hope he get enough AB's to vest his option so he can bat 4th for us again next year...

and we can give him 9 million dollars a year to do it...

You Gota Love the Lincoln, Armstrong, Riggleman Era...

Public Safety Bulletin

2008-07-22T20:17:00.000-07:00

Beware of crazed perverts hanging brain...

and the most underated move of the off season is...

2008-07-22T13:50:00.001-07:00

The Golden State Warriors continued their busy off season trading a future 1st rd pick to the Nets for PG Marcus Williams.... Williams a national championship PG from U-Conn played sparingly behind Jason Kidd and more recently Devin Harris...

Despite being a career back up Williams is a real find for the Warriors.. he has the ability to be a productive NBA PG and should help Monta Ellis fill the void left by Barron Davis' departure...

In other news there is no truth the rumor that the NBA is contracting to 3 teams...its an illusion given by the fact the Warriors, Clipper and Sixers seem to be having their own high profile off season orgy...

A Day At The Beach

2008-07-22T11:22:00.000-07:00

And the Nominees for our beach day awards are...

Barry Obama with the Hawaiian Lay
Lloyd Christmas ripping off SBC
John Travolta in the best shape of his life

WIN

PLACE

DON'T SHOW

Our Lost Friend...

2008-07-22T11:14:00.000-07:00

Here's to the man who knows you can't stop after you've already started

Because It Stings

There's a New Way to Spell Over Paid...

2008-07-15T10:45:00.000-07:00

M-A-G-G-E-T-T-E

Nice work Chris... have fun trying to get that hometown discount from Ellis and Biendriens.... Maggette can play but 5 yrs/50 Million at this stage in his career... by year 3 he's going to be an absolute salary cap albatross... Apparently Mully didn't learn his lesson from the Troy Murphy debacle...

Go Warriors!!!!

Withdrawals...

2008-07-15T10:31:00.000-07:00

Your Weekly Dose of Machiavellianism from the man that made TV great again...

Yes Ben...

"Destiny is a fickle bitch"

and so is the Lost hiatus...I'm quickly becoming a trichotillomatic....

Is it January yet???

Progress is a Painfully Slow Process... and I Have a Splitting Headache...

2008-07-14T20:13:00.000-07:00

Are you kidding me??? This is the cover of the latest issue of The New Yorker... this is the world we live in????

The New Yorker's stated position is the cover satires a bevy of unfortunate stereotypes... I'm sure this is true but I'm appalled nonetheless...

Are we so ignorant a people that such portrayals of the Obama's need to be satirized??? Do enough people really believe that he is a Muslim that it has to be sardonically deconstructed??? What is this about???

I know that growing pains are difficult.... Watching Obama hurdle over landmark after landmark slowly shaking loose the albatross of history has to be tough for some folks but seriously... we're talking about a U.S. Senator, a Democratic Nominee for President... this isn't Joe Blow preaching hate to enraptured community college students...

I'm as non-partisan as they come... I won't be voting for Obama or McCain come November... but really a portrait of Bin Laden over the mantle??? the American Flag burning in the fire place... people actually think this shit... Sadly, Yes....

I know people with a college educations that own homes and raise kids who actually think this picture is pretty close to an accurate portrayal of the Obama's...

Think what you will about his policy ideas... but debate them on the merits...
Think what you will of him as man... but use Dr. King's metric: the content of his character... not his skin color or a peculiar middle name...

are we really this unable to engage???

Oh The Audacity

2008-07-14T18:48:00.000-07:00

I Quit on Society

Pictured above is my buddy Kevin... What follows is a verbatim of a text he sent me today...

"I quit on society. Friday I bought a really good sandwhich from Jersey Mike's for this guy. He said he would pay me back. So today he gave me a home made tuna fish sandwhich. I asked what it was for and he said for getting him a sandwhich last week. I QUIT"

From The Guy Who Brought Us "Hymietown"

2008-07-09T22:59:00.000-07:00

Apparently Jesse Jackson Wants to Cut off Obama's Nuts... I Guess that's a sex change we can all believe in....

On a serious note... MeThinks someone has been bit by the jealous bug.... No one can take away Jackson's efforts as a civil rights trailblazer but its gotta to be rough watching a young hipster enjoying all the spoils...

Obama: Nuts Still Intact and Primed to be President

2008-07-09T21:09:00.000-07:00

In February when Barrack Obama was in the process of reeling off 11 straight primary wins, Tennessee's Senior Senator Republican Mitch McConnel told the following joke at a party fundraiser:

The Democratic Primaries features a New York Senator who was born in Illinois and an Illinois Senator who was apparently born in a manger....

The joke was funny though painfully time sensitive as March brought about a heavy Clinton smear offensive which served to stagger the eventual nominee...

Despite Senator Clinton's efforts to blunt the Obama insurgency, the Illinois Senator appears primed to capture the White House (though 4 month is an eternity and a half in political time) Nonetheless its time to look at the pro & cons of the man who would be king...

Pro:

Jesse Jackson wants to cut his nuts off
Magnanimous personality
Historical ramifications

Cons:

Jesse Jackson might cut his nuts off
Questionable foreign policy credentials
Four to Eight years of the term Obamaicans

Happy Hunting....

Say Hello to MR. Excitement

2008-07-09T14:00:00.000-07:00

Stirring that deep special feeling inside that Republicans and right leaning Independents haven't experienced since the Bob Dole political death march... I mean 1996 Presidential Campaign....

But seriously lets take a closer look...

Pros:

Has a pretty good looking wife whose also a wealthy beer heiress
Hes not Bush
Arizona is a fun state

Cons:

Bad comb over
Rapidly losing lucidity
Painfully bad public speaker

Qualities we can all get behind...????

T-Minus 6 Months

2008-07-09T00:54:00.000-07:00

When the off season is just way too long...

To get you through the excruciating break... go with the beer of the Others..

Dharma Fine Ale

It might be old beer but its got the Rodger Workman seal of approval!

At Least They Still Have Chris Kamen For Comic Relief...

2008-07-08T22:21:00.000-07:00

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Elton Brand's apparent move to the 76ers is a huge blow to the L.A. Clippers... The Red Headed step child of Los Angeles basketball just took another kick to the sternum... This is nothing new for a franchise whose star crested with a handful of 1st round playoff defeats... but this one is particularly painful because of how it unfolded...

A week ago Brand unexpectedly opted out of his contract to provide the Clippers with salary flexibility to help the team add a core piece... it all seemed choreographed when 24 hours later Brand's close friend All-Star PG Barron Davis also opted out of his deal and made a verbal commitment to join the Clips...

For once it seemed everything was coming up rosy in Clipperland... but come on this is the Clippers and things are bound to go bad... yesterday things did go bad as Brand took his 20 and 10 to Philly in what now appears to be a formidable contender in the East... The Clips are now left with a gaping hole in their front line... and lack of candidates to fill Brand's role in the paint... At least the franchise is well acquainted with picking in the lottery because Brand's bolt places them squarely at the bottom of the Western Conference for at least the next half decade.... and to rub salt in the wound high scoring swing man Cory Magette is also bolting LA for a sweet deal up the street with Golden State...

Hail to the Thieves

2008-07-06T14:54:00.000-07:00

I wish I knew how to quit you...

If This is Sex, I'll Take Abstinence Every Time...

2008-07-06T14:28:00.000-07:00

Chew on this... I saw the Sex and the City movie... Breathe deep... your eyes did not deceive you...

I didn't leave the house thinking hmm... I'd really like to go see the Sex and the City movie tonight. If it has been premeditated, this would be the point where I would ask you to kick me in the junk. Oh no, it happened far more serendipitously than that. My wife and I went to see Wanted and decided to make it a fivefingerdiscount double feature. Presumably Get Smart was playing in the adjacent theater so we used our ninja stealth to sneak past the highly trained but slightly mentally challenged kid with the red vest and coned flashlight thingy. The joke was on him for about eight seconds... then we found out the Get Smart becomes Sex and the City after 7pm. The tables had turned, the joke was on me. All of the sudden I had woeful flashes of the red vested kid flipping me the bird as I snuck into the 10th circle of hell (forgive Dante' he could never have a imagined a plague as cruel Sarah Jessica Parker would come along).

*So these are the Salient points of my Sex and the City movie experience...

*Sarah Jessica Parker has knocked John Travolta off the perch of celebrity I'd least like to be stuck in an elevator with.

*The ostentatious tool that designed the clothes that apparently tickle the fancy of New York's upper crust metropolitan women needs a good junkpunch.

*Fictional New York is crawling with effeminate men.

*Apparently the core demographics of Sex and the City fans intersect quite nicely with fans of American Pie-ish humor evidenced by an over the top scene focused on Miranda's pubic hair.

The scene goes something like this: The main character Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) has been left at the alter by her long time companion "BIG." To Cheer her up her three best friends accompany her on the honeymoon she was suppose to have had with Big. Lounging outside the pool of a posh Mexico resort the camera pans to a less then pleasant shot of how shall I delicately say it... Miranda's (the red head on the far right in the pic at the top of the page) neither regions. Apparently Miranda, a lawyer, quasi socialite and women of high fashion has lost the number of the every salon in New York that does waxing. I'm thinking there also must be a deathly fear of razors involved but that's just an educated guess. Another fact about Miranda is she is separated from her husband who had a one night stand with another women. So the girls start to raz Miranda about her lack of grooming. And after some brutal dialogue I'm working hard to repress Miranda retorts "so I guess you all think its my fault that Steve cheated on me..." without missing a beat a man three rows behind me yells out "hell yeah it's your fault"... at this point I literally lost it for a good three minutes... finally something redemptive...

Of course the movie ends with Carrie and BIG getting married... Miranda and Steve rekindling (presumably after a good waxing) and Kim Cattrall revising the role that made her famous in Porky's only this time with a cougar spin... All is right with the world... except for the fact that I spent two plus hours watching that shit... but I paid the price to write this post and to avoid the shame of being caught sneaking out of the film. My pride had taken too many hits already. I didn't dare risk leaving the theater without a hopped up throng of two hundred women to use as human camouflage. I had to hide. After all, the pimply faced kid in the red vest might be looking out for me. I can just imagine his shiteatinggrin. So that was weekend...what you got???

And the Best News of the Month is....

2008-07-05T13:38:00.000-07:00

AD is officially coming to the big screen... I'm more than a little geeked for it...

I see denim cut offs, a nice hard cot for GOB, hot ham water and some Caged Wisdom in the not too distant future.

So visit your analrapist, throw on your new she'male (pronounced sha- mally) shirt, grab a bluth frozen banana, call your favorite hermano, watch out for the FIRE SALE and don't forget the Corn Baller...

*All proceeds will go to favorite Bluth charities like HOOP, the Shirley Funke Memorial Fund and to fight serious diseases like Graft-Versus-Host and TBA.

The Worst News of the Month...

2008-07-04T16:06:00.000-07:00

Good Bye Sonics

REcent RaNdom MusIngs

2008-07-04T14:42:00.000-07:00

{Pop Culture}

Mike Myers has awoken from his long slumber to give us a sitar playing lothario self-help guru. I'm glad to see his time away has catalyzed a career renaissance of sorts. Far be it from me to take pot shots at the guy whose career crested with such an expansive and well developed character such as Wayne Campbell from Wayne's World.

Speaking of lothario's... VH1 is bringing back the Pick Up Artist for what promises to be a rousing second season. Lucky us... We get to watch the real life equivalents of Long Duc Dong try to score a handful of wannabe Pam Andersons...
Hmmm...Vern Troyer (MiniMe) is the latest in a string of pseudo celebrities to have a sex tape released to public against his will. Insert pithy entendre here___________________;) (double points if it has to do with male self esteem)

Politics

It seems to me the best Vice Presidential choices would be:

Obama: Sen. Joe Biden- experienced, foreign policy wonk, ready to be President in a pinch, congenial, good on the stump, interesting, should help with white working class men, would be funny at the white House Press Dinners.

McCain: Gov. Sarah Palin- McCain needs a home run and Palin may be it. Tough as nails reputation fighting corruption in her own party, a good manager, smart and attractive, might help with women, should shore up conservative base, exciting pick.

I think McCain will pick Romney and make a big play for Michigan. I suspect Obama's will come down to Biden, Jim Webb and Hilary. The races trajectory in the weeks leading up to the convention will ultimately determine if Obama can pick who he wants or who he might need.

Sports
my 4th of July weekend picks...
-Federer and Serena
-Red Sox 2 of 3 from the Yanks
-Jeff Gordon @ Daytona
-Elton brand to stay w/ the Clips
-Howard Schultz to get creamed in the face by a Carmel Frapachino next time he steps foot in the Emerald City

Nickels and Dimes but No Sonics

2008-07-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

Mayor Greg Nickels and the Seattle City Council should be a ashamed of themselves. I'm not talking about drinkacoupleofshots and hide in doors ashamed, I'm talking about serious self-loathing should be poking themselves with scalding hot irons ashamed.

The parade of Seattle's political set patting themselves on the back for in essence selling the cities soul for a mere $45 million dollars was the pinnacle of myopic hubris. Imaging Nickels and Co. getting duped by Oklahoma Billionaire Clay Bennett would be kindofsorta assuming if the punch line didn't come at the expense of the cities basketball past, present and future. The City Counsel agreed to deal that assures Key Arena's economic solvency in the short in short run. Never mind the fact that the aging building has now lost it's two major tenants (Sonics and T-Birds) in a number of months. Congratulations Mayor Nickles you've paid off a useless building.

A number of months back Seattle City Councilmen Nick Licata famously stated that the Seattle Supersonics "add no value to the community." One wonders if Licata has changed his tune as he stood on the stage Wednesday having bartered away a Seattle Institution for roughly the value of Bill Gates Lake Washington home. After all there are countless ways Licata and friends could piss away 45 million dollars (but that deserves its own post).

For 41 years the Supersonics were a core thread in the cities fabric. Seattle's first professional sports franchise, the Sonics organization was a symbol of civic pride and a force within the community. Through various charity endeavors like SonicsCare and the summer time staple Jammin' Hoops Camp the organization was an integral part of making Seattle a better place.

In recent weeks Seattle Icon Sherman Alexi has emerged as a prominent voice in Sonicsfandom. Alexi, an acclaimed author and filmmaker and possibly the cities most famous living Native American has spoken passionately about the value the Sonics add to the community. In a recent radio interview Alexi noted the high level of diversity found at Sonics games. A level of diversity that not only spans race but also age, class and socioeconomic backgrounds. The Sonics offered a space for people of various stripes to come together and enjoy a shared passion. I can think of no other Seattle institution that spans so many barriers in such a profound way.

The bottom line of this whole thing is loss. Sonics fans have lost their team. Kids have lost of their Sonic hero's. The city of Seattle has lost part of it's charm, some it's zest and a little of it's soul. Now it's time for Greg Nickels, Nick Licata and their cronies to lose their jobs.

Nice Work Greg Nickels... You've paid off a $45 million dollar pothole in the middle of Seattle Center... See you at the ballot box...